Who knows what today is?
I'll give you a hint...
A 9 month old Border Collie
You Give Up?
OK, I'll tell you all. Today is the five year anniversary of when this red and white pup came into my life. It was just a little over two months since I lost Met. My life had been shattered literally, but the entrance of Thane signified hope for the future.
He had a very big day- this country Border Collie. His flight required two plane trips and landed in Portland at night. Heck, I was normally getting settled for shows and bed when we took off from here for the airport.
One of the first things I realized was just how much I had taught Met. I couldn't believe it. It'd been so long since I had a dog that didn't know how to walk beside my chair on a leash. It was mind-boggling. It was scary. There was even some wonderment if I had bitten off more than I could chew- could I really do this again with as much as my disabilities had progressed over the past decade.
Thane was to be a challenge for sure. He had a doggie door before- none here. He had the ability to pee and poop where he wanted- not here He did not like this stupid new owner who was insisting he was going to busy on the leash- yup in the pouring down rain, no less. Oh did we battle over this one- I know how NOT to approach that next time around! vbg
There were times- many of them, when I felt the likelihood for this to become a successful partnership was slim at best- and yet we managed to triumph over the obstacles that brought that dreaded R word to mind. I figured at this point, after our victory, there was nothing that could hold us back
How wrong could I have been!
Thane had unexplained symptoms- dulled and slowed responses, wandering lameness, falling off edges of sidewalks as though he had peripheral deficits, seizures, bruising and bleeding issues, and the symptoms kept mounting until he collapsed. They were bizarre, scary and the vet NEVER used any of her training to help me decipher what could be happening. It was up to me to research and suggest what to test him for. Thanks to Sharon at After Gadget blog, who knows tick borne diseases better than she would like I am sure, I got a diagnosis for Thane before it was too late.
It was to be a long journey back- a journey being fought amidst undiagnosed hypothyroidism (because noone would listen to me) We made it back from Lyme, but the setbacks from hypo (which included months without my sidekick in public) and severe gluten intolerance (caused by mishandling his hypo) were difficult and are newly being addressed.
Today when I look back at the last five years, I have to admit, this is not the journey I envisioned when I welcomed this healthy redhead into my life. I realize though, that just like Met taught me about vaccinosis and how not to address hypothyroidism, Thane taught me about Lyme Disease- how it is everywhere despite what his previous vet keeps telling people. Thane is also teaching me about other modes of treatment in hypothyroidism- about treating the individual instead of the labs, and about Gluten Intolerance, a disorder I knew nothing about this past June, yet now am living the benefits alongside Thane of a gluten free life. Above all though, he has taught me about a dog's love for his deafblind handler- experiencing him saving my life time and again will never become something I take forgranted. When will people just drive already and forget about their phone, radio, makeup, how late they are- snicker
There've been days when this journey has been so much like Mets was that I just want to flee- start all over and recognize that dark bump on his abdomen as a tick- get him help then. I can't do that though. Instead I will take these lessons that were Thane's to teach and be grateful that I can use this knowledge to help others avoid our heartbreaks.
Sometimes I wonder why both my dogs wound up with long term and/ or chronic conditions like they did. I struggle with it from time to time, but in the end I realize that this is a partnership- one of teaching and working together as a team. These were their lessons to impart.
It wouldn't be much of a partnership, if I were the only one doing the teaching now would it?
At the end of the day, it may seem like this partnership has been filled with more sorrow than triumph, but I don't look at it that way. Because of Thane, I have grown as a trainer (trying to determine the best way to teach what seemed unteachable with him). I've advanced in my mobility skills thanks to Lyme and I've learned how to truly trust a guide unconditionally in traffic emergencies.
This redhead and me, well, we were just meant to be together
13 November 2012
20 October 2012
Saving a Life or Two
This post is for the Assistance Dog Blog Carnival being hosted by Martha at the blog Believe in Who You Are The topic for this carnival is *Moments*
There are so many aspects to Assistance Dog partnership that have their memorable moments- even more so for those of us who are owner trainers. As an individual with progressive deafblindness, incomplete quadriplegia, and other substantial medical hurdles, the first moments that come to mind are two life saving events- one by each of my combo trained guide, hearing, service dogs. Initially, I was only going to write about the event with my present partnership; however, I realized that both of these events have played a crucial role in shaping who I am as a trainer and handler.
It was around 2004. I was taking Chimette (AKA Met) for our normal routine short walk while my apartment was being vacuumed. Met was a typical male who loved to mark when I allowed him to, and sometimes tried to do so of his own accord with failing results. As males go, his marking behavior was honestly not that bad though he had a favorite area where he really loved to mark as we turned toward home.
Our path had no big obstacles to deal with that morning- everything was flowing with a calm, peaceful simplicity until Met jerked over under the trees alongside the sidewalk path. Something told me that despite our location, this action was not about marking so I followed his lead moving my chair over under the trees just as a white streak passed so close I could have reached out and touched it. The driver, so out of control, that he or she jumped the curb at the corner using the sidewalk as an extension of the road. I knew the police were not far behind after Met's siren alert so we stayed put.
Met got a jackpot of praise and opportunity to mark, and as Julie Johnson puts it, check all the pee mail he could ever want to check. During that interval I worked on getting my heart to stop pounding so hard that I could feel it in my chest. The realization of just what Met had done for me in that moment remains as clear in my mind some eight years later as it did the moment it occurred. He was indeed my hero who quite literally saved our lives that day.
Life goes on though and one doesn't think every day about each moment of excitement, wonder, or even life saving events. Met aged, passed away, and his successor stepped up to the plate in grand fashion. During this time, my disabilities had all progressed substantially. Still, I didn't think too much about all the moments each day- all the times Thane proved himself as we trained or worked as a green team.
There were so many times when drivers needed a refresher course about yielding for pedestrians, about looking for pedestrians when entering the crosswalk with their vehicles, and oh boy- the stories I could tell about the life saving moments caused by individuals who plain and simply need to have the keys taken away from them.
The one moment though in this partnership with Thane, that really stays in my mind and probably will for all time occurred May 20, 2011 shortly before Thane would collapse from undiagnosed Lyme disease. I included this fact, solely because it makes what he did this day all that much more of a memorable moment forever etched in my mind.
It was a beautiful day and we were going to take advantage of it. Living in the Pacific Northwest, we were coming off of our nine to ten months of annual rain and everyone was ready for the kind of weather we had that day. We headed to the trail and then back to New Seasons for a few items. As we were crossing the street with the signal (why are we always in the middle or three quarters of the way across the street when people try and put their 2000 pound or more vehicles to the test against pedestrians- deafblind ones at that), Thane slammed himself across my path at which point I immediately backed my chair some, but not before the unfortunate aspect of wheeling over a paw. With Thane's focus on getting me back, I doubt there was even a whimper at that unfortunate impact we made. I felt the swoosh of the air as a car ripped past us, not even slowing down at our presence. The signal there (and all along that street and too many others) has a yield arrow where cars can turn left when it is clear. The problem being is that they RARELY look for pedestrians.
Once we made it across the street and steadied our nerves, I gave Thane jackpot praise for what I realized immediately was the closest I had ever come to being severely injured or killed since partnered with a guide dog. This event had a greater impact than the one with his predecessor, Met, but each leaving me with gratefulness for the results of hard training and partnership with the dog at my side. I swapped handles (the glue had popped in the forceful re-direction Thane had to make) and we carried on. I've learned many times over how valuable it can be to carry a spare guide handle with us.
As we walked along towards the max station, I noticed Thane's pull in harness was different, but didn't think too much about it since his gait seemed normal. When we got to the max station is when I realized just the extent of what he had done for me. His forceful blocking of my chair had caused a sheering of his skin from the harness straps and forced torque of the guide handle.
My skin didn't fare much better than Thane's did. As we spent some days at home to heal, I tried not to let myself feel as awful as I did about Thane being injured in the performance of his duty. Instead I focused on the fact that we were still there, still together, because he performed his duty to the utmost of his ability.
I've heard a number of heartbreaking stories over the years about service dogs killed while crossing streets or parking lots, many of which were guide dogs. I continue to be grateful for the fast action of Thane that day. I am sure that his training, the repetitive need to use this skill due to distracted or incompetent drivers, our bond that helped me realize his urgency in that split second, and especially his agile build helped keep us safe that day.
That was the day when I realized above and beyond, that Thane was the right dog to have at my side.
There are so many aspects to Assistance Dog partnership that have their memorable moments- even more so for those of us who are owner trainers. As an individual with progressive deafblindness, incomplete quadriplegia, and other substantial medical hurdles, the first moments that come to mind are two life saving events- one by each of my combo trained guide, hearing, service dogs. Initially, I was only going to write about the event with my present partnership; however, I realized that both of these events have played a crucial role in shaping who I am as a trainer and handler.
It was around 2004. I was taking Chimette (AKA Met) for our normal routine short walk while my apartment was being vacuumed. Met was a typical male who loved to mark when I allowed him to, and sometimes tried to do so of his own accord with failing results. As males go, his marking behavior was honestly not that bad though he had a favorite area where he really loved to mark as we turned toward home.
Our path had no big obstacles to deal with that morning- everything was flowing with a calm, peaceful simplicity until Met jerked over under the trees alongside the sidewalk path. Something told me that despite our location, this action was not about marking so I followed his lead moving my chair over under the trees just as a white streak passed so close I could have reached out and touched it. The driver, so out of control, that he or she jumped the curb at the corner using the sidewalk as an extension of the road. I knew the police were not far behind after Met's siren alert so we stayed put.
Met got a jackpot of praise and opportunity to mark, and as Julie Johnson puts it, check all the pee mail he could ever want to check. During that interval I worked on getting my heart to stop pounding so hard that I could feel it in my chest. The realization of just what Met had done for me in that moment remains as clear in my mind some eight years later as it did the moment it occurred. He was indeed my hero who quite literally saved our lives that day.
Life goes on though and one doesn't think every day about each moment of excitement, wonder, or even life saving events. Met aged, passed away, and his successor stepped up to the plate in grand fashion. During this time, my disabilities had all progressed substantially. Still, I didn't think too much about all the moments each day- all the times Thane proved himself as we trained or worked as a green team.
There were so many times when drivers needed a refresher course about yielding for pedestrians, about looking for pedestrians when entering the crosswalk with their vehicles, and oh boy- the stories I could tell about the life saving moments caused by individuals who plain and simply need to have the keys taken away from them.
The one moment though in this partnership with Thane, that really stays in my mind and probably will for all time occurred May 20, 2011 shortly before Thane would collapse from undiagnosed Lyme disease. I included this fact, solely because it makes what he did this day all that much more of a memorable moment forever etched in my mind.
It was a beautiful day and we were going to take advantage of it. Living in the Pacific Northwest, we were coming off of our nine to ten months of annual rain and everyone was ready for the kind of weather we had that day. We headed to the trail and then back to New Seasons for a few items. As we were crossing the street with the signal (why are we always in the middle or three quarters of the way across the street when people try and put their 2000 pound or more vehicles to the test against pedestrians- deafblind ones at that), Thane slammed himself across my path at which point I immediately backed my chair some, but not before the unfortunate aspect of wheeling over a paw. With Thane's focus on getting me back, I doubt there was even a whimper at that unfortunate impact we made. I felt the swoosh of the air as a car ripped past us, not even slowing down at our presence. The signal there (and all along that street and too many others) has a yield arrow where cars can turn left when it is clear. The problem being is that they RARELY look for pedestrians.
Once we made it across the street and steadied our nerves, I gave Thane jackpot praise for what I realized immediately was the closest I had ever come to being severely injured or killed since partnered with a guide dog. This event had a greater impact than the one with his predecessor, Met, but each leaving me with gratefulness for the results of hard training and partnership with the dog at my side. I swapped handles (the glue had popped in the forceful re-direction Thane had to make) and we carried on. I've learned many times over how valuable it can be to carry a spare guide handle with us.
As we walked along towards the max station, I noticed Thane's pull in harness was different, but didn't think too much about it since his gait seemed normal. When we got to the max station is when I realized just the extent of what he had done for me. His forceful blocking of my chair had caused a sheering of his skin from the harness straps and forced torque of the guide handle.
My skin didn't fare much better than Thane's did. As we spent some days at home to heal, I tried not to let myself feel as awful as I did about Thane being injured in the performance of his duty. Instead I focused on the fact that we were still there, still together, because he performed his duty to the utmost of his ability.
I've heard a number of heartbreaking stories over the years about service dogs killed while crossing streets or parking lots, many of which were guide dogs. I continue to be grateful for the fast action of Thane that day. I am sure that his training, the repetitive need to use this skill due to distracted or incompetent drivers, our bond that helped me realize his urgency in that split second, and especially his agile build helped keep us safe that day.
That was the day when I realized above and beyond, that Thane was the right dog to have at my side.
10 September 2012
A Day of Remembrance for Chimette
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| Met Guides me in harness- early partnership |
The days that followed were unbelievable. I could not imagine how I would ever be able to function as a whole person again. Over the years, Met had adapted to my disabilities as much as I had to them by providing me with skills that I never would have considered needing when I first began training him. When he was gone, so was my strategy for functional living.
As hard as those first days and weeks felt in terms of my functional skills, my heart was turned to raw mincemeat. The loss went far deeper than just skills I lost. As an individual with MCS, I had no physical friends that I could visit with or do things with. My animals, but especially my service dog were my family, my firiends, my everything. I had lost my birds earlier that year and now I was literally alone for the first time since 1992.
Eventually I learned to pick up the pieces and adapt a bit- albeit awkwardly to my limitations. I knew I would eventually adopt another dog to train as my successor, but I could not imagine how I could bond with or work with another dog that was not Met.
It took a while, but I came to a place where I realized that Met would want this for me- Met would want me to be happy, to move on, to give another dog a chance to truly shine.
And that is what I did- little by little I let Thane worm his way into my heart, into my life, into the position that Met once held
But even as it is a special thing with Thane, there will never be those first exhilarations as I watched and experienced how much a service dog could become for me, could change my life and my outlook on life
Though moving on was the right thing to do, I take his journey and all its lessons with me. They are afterall a part of who I am today- why I am the way I am and most especially why Thane is alive and getting healthier each and every day.
 |
| Met lays on the grass in the sun on one of his last really good days |
07 August 2012
So Many Lessons
Thane has taught me so many things in my time spent with him. Some of the things have been exhilarating, but over the past year much of that has been the gritty trials of fighting through Lyme and subsequent slow return of function because of just how long it took to get a right diagnosis.
This one however was a great find. The results of which have totally changed our life around from that of *would Thane every work full time again* to the *Thane is working full time again* mode
Thane is gluten intolerant!
I actually stumbled upon why Thane improved so dramatically on an MCS list. They were talking about gluten in supplements. I had shortly before that time changed Thane's diet and pulled almost all of his supplements. I began doing research and sure enough, he was on several that were not gluten free, as well as having been on a couple more that were not at some point over the past year, including the ALA which caused T4 to T3 conversion issues earlier in the year.
Life has improved so much for Thane and us as a team. His life at home is so much more peaceful- his anxiety just lifted almost overnight. It was such a radical change from the dog I had become accustomed to having to watch like a hawk or use an e-collar with.
There has been such vast improvement, that its hard to remember all the symptoms he had that melted away, but take a look at any of the Thyroid articles by Dr Jean Dodds and just about every system that can be involved in thyroid disease, was in Thane.
The jury is still out as to whether Thane will completely recover without any medical intervention. The frustrating part though is that my vet did not catch this early on either. It has been going on for years and did not surprise her that he was gluten intolerant. sigh
Now I sit here at home with anticipation of the lab results- hopefully there will be answers in them that lead us towards further resolutions cuz Thane and I- well, we love being back together on the road again
This one however was a great find. The results of which have totally changed our life around from that of *would Thane every work full time again* to the *Thane is working full time again* mode
Thane is gluten intolerant!
I actually stumbled upon why Thane improved so dramatically on an MCS list. They were talking about gluten in supplements. I had shortly before that time changed Thane's diet and pulled almost all of his supplements. I began doing research and sure enough, he was on several that were not gluten free, as well as having been on a couple more that were not at some point over the past year, including the ALA which caused T4 to T3 conversion issues earlier in the year.
Life has improved so much for Thane and us as a team. His life at home is so much more peaceful- his anxiety just lifted almost overnight. It was such a radical change from the dog I had become accustomed to having to watch like a hawk or use an e-collar with.
There has been such vast improvement, that its hard to remember all the symptoms he had that melted away, but take a look at any of the Thyroid articles by Dr Jean Dodds and just about every system that can be involved in thyroid disease, was in Thane.
The jury is still out as to whether Thane will completely recover without any medical intervention. The frustrating part though is that my vet did not catch this early on either. It has been going on for years and did not surprise her that he was gluten intolerant. sigh
Now I sit here at home with anticipation of the lab results- hopefully there will be answers in them that lead us towards further resolutions cuz Thane and I- well, we love being back together on the road again
28 July 2012
It's Not Always Just Black and White
This post is for the Assistance Dog Blog Carnival
The topic chosen by Brooke at the RuledByPaws blog is Marchin' to Your Own Drum
When I brought Thane into my life as my successor candidate I had many hopes and dreams for us. None of them involved another journey through chronic illness, but that is exactly the cards that were dealt for us. I knew that there were great variations in the outcomes for dogs diagnosed with Lyme. All I could do was treat Thane and hope for a good outcome that leaves chronic illness behind as just a bad memory. We're still waiting for that LOL
Seriously though, in the beginning of this journey I could not think about anything but treatment for Thane. He was too sick to work at that time and so for the first time since his training was complete, I had to face that scary world full of sounds and sights I was oblivious to by myself. I had to deal with grip issues and the pain associated with navigating my guide cane while Thane recovered. The worst part was having to deal with everyone who just had to know where Thane was. Leaving him home certainly gave me a huge eye opening experience of just how much Thane really does for me as a deafblind incomplete quadriplegic.
Many in the service dog world believe that once a service dog has developed a health condition that it is time to retire them. I don't believe it is really so simple- so black and white. As a more sedentary individual and an owner-trainer, I have greater flexibility in this area. I will admit I did a lot of soul searching about what was right in our situation, but I knew going into this that every case is different. For Thane, however, having not been diagnosed early on, the prognosis was a long one of ups and downs as the spirochetes were destroyed.
The key in everything is that I put Thane first ALWAYS If he was not up for the errand, then we waited for a day when he was doing better (during times when it fluctuated) or I went solo. Don't get me wrong, it was tough going solo. I knew though that when I got home, he'd be there to help me put things away, change my smelly clothes from public access and be the in-home service dog I trained him to be. Though there is still some fluctuation in Thane's abilities, he has begun to work in public more. Lately, each week seems to be bringing with it an increased ability to be in harness at my side. There were times when I questioned whether I had made the right decision to wait the process out and see what outcome we could achieve. Now I am watching the dream begin to unfold as Thane is returning to the job he loves. I'm so glad I don't think in just black and white!
The topic chosen by Brooke at the RuledByPaws blog is Marchin' to Your Own Drum
When I brought Thane into my life as my successor candidate I had many hopes and dreams for us. None of them involved another journey through chronic illness, but that is exactly the cards that were dealt for us. I knew that there were great variations in the outcomes for dogs diagnosed with Lyme. All I could do was treat Thane and hope for a good outcome that leaves chronic illness behind as just a bad memory. We're still waiting for that LOL
Seriously though, in the beginning of this journey I could not think about anything but treatment for Thane. He was too sick to work at that time and so for the first time since his training was complete, I had to face that scary world full of sounds and sights I was oblivious to by myself. I had to deal with grip issues and the pain associated with navigating my guide cane while Thane recovered. The worst part was having to deal with everyone who just had to know where Thane was. Leaving him home certainly gave me a huge eye opening experience of just how much Thane really does for me as a deafblind incomplete quadriplegic.
Many in the service dog world believe that once a service dog has developed a health condition that it is time to retire them. I don't believe it is really so simple- so black and white. As a more sedentary individual and an owner-trainer, I have greater flexibility in this area. I will admit I did a lot of soul searching about what was right in our situation, but I knew going into this that every case is different. For Thane, however, having not been diagnosed early on, the prognosis was a long one of ups and downs as the spirochetes were destroyed.
The key in everything is that I put Thane first ALWAYS If he was not up for the errand, then we waited for a day when he was doing better (during times when it fluctuated) or I went solo. Don't get me wrong, it was tough going solo. I knew though that when I got home, he'd be there to help me put things away, change my smelly clothes from public access and be the in-home service dog I trained him to be. Though there is still some fluctuation in Thane's abilities, he has begun to work in public more. Lately, each week seems to be bringing with it an increased ability to be in harness at my side. There were times when I questioned whether I had made the right decision to wait the process out and see what outcome we could achieve. Now I am watching the dream begin to unfold as Thane is returning to the job he loves. I'm so glad I don't think in just black and white!
17 April 2012
The Future of Our Partnership
Today I have made one of the hardest decisions anyone partnered with a service dog makes, that of hanging up the guide harness. This decision was not made lightly or in haste. Thane has been out of harness for a short time due to a skin issue which has since healed nicely. While out of harness, we worked together as a service/ hearing dog team (combo trained dog) When the harness came back into the equation however, stress was quite evident for Thane. I won't go into all of the details here other than to say that it was very important to me to listen to what Thane needs and wants rather than focusing on how difficult life without a guide dog will be.
At this point, Thane still loves to do his indoor tasks. These tasks are also a huge part of my ability to live as independently as I do. He will continue in the home to be my service dog and probably even learn new tasks. Public access as a service/ hearing dog may come to a close as well or we may find that stepping out of harness resolves the stress issue.
For now though, I will go solo and give Thane more time to heal, relax, and be loved for the awesome dog he is and has been at my side. He will remain in my life, as the teacher of the great lesson and heartbreak known as Lyme Disease. I sincerely doubt I would be making this post now, if it had not been for it. The reason really doesn't matter though- all that matters is that he is loved and will continue to be loved and cared for by me.
At this point, Thane still loves to do his indoor tasks. These tasks are also a huge part of my ability to live as independently as I do. He will continue in the home to be my service dog and probably even learn new tasks. Public access as a service/ hearing dog may come to a close as well or we may find that stepping out of harness resolves the stress issue.
For now though, I will go solo and give Thane more time to heal, relax, and be loved for the awesome dog he is and has been at my side. He will remain in my life, as the teacher of the great lesson and heartbreak known as Lyme Disease. I sincerely doubt I would be making this post now, if it had not been for it. The reason really doesn't matter though- all that matters is that he is loved and will continue to be loved and cared for by me.
03 April 2012
The Future of My Blog
You see, bloggers new interface is not very accessible to those who rely upon screen readers. For now the old interface is still active. Blogger is fully aware of the lack of accessibility, but it looks like they are still trying to get everyone to switch over to the new interface this month.
For those non-computer savvy folks who read my or other VI or blind folks blogs, the interface is required to add entries to our blogs.
Though I could just move to another blog hosting site, I have not decided what course of action I plan on taking at this juncture.
I loved that at the time I started my blogs, I was able to do it without captcha via my gmail account- that is not an option on a lot of other blog hosting sites so I have a lot to figure out.
For now, I'm staying put unless of course I log on one day and find that blogger decided for me
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