Optimism

Summer has officially hit the Pacific Northwest. 96 in Portland by the five o'clock news which could go higher. Generally speaking, we tend to hit 2-3 degrees higher than that temperature in summer time unless winds are present from a cooler direction. That's not the case today. As for summer though, better late than never huh?

I had errands I needed to do this weekend. I procrastinated the New Seasons run, but figured I could use the two bus lines to get there today still since Sunday is the only day that line is unavailable. When I logged onto the website however to get bus times, I discovered that due to the airshow they had altered the route in a manner that made it not an option for us.

I struggled for about fifteen minutes over whether or not to give it an attempt using the Orenco max stop. I don't like the constant back and forth angles of the curbcuts on that street- leaves me disoriented at best. For Thane to go though, I decided to give that a go because the difference in pain would have been immense.

We had already got up over an hour earlier than usual to get all Thane's meds, supplements, Petz Life accomplished so it just made sense to give it a chance.

Thane really surprised me today. Though he still has some *follow the edge* necessity, it has tapered enough that I can live with it. His work was actually pretty right on for the most part as well. I would say he was about 90 per cent the norm today. In the process of Lyme from day to day, each day has differing function, but I am beginning to see more up days as long as I am careful not to overdo with him. These good days are leaving me with more of an optimism towards recovery.

We had to wait for both the max and the bus- why is it that on hot days we seem to *just* miss them? It was not too bad of a wait though either time- just ten to twelve minutes or so. The heat was not so bad so I decided to get off the bus a bit early and walk a bit before we got home because Thane still seemed full of energy. When we got off the bus though, I regretted that decision right away. It was significantly hotter in our town in comparison. Though we made it home alright, it's not a decision I would have made had I known just how much higher the barometer was here.

Thane rested in his swamp cooler while I spent a good deal of time rinsing, cutting, and freezing berries. The local strawberries were horrible. The produce man (not the usual good weekday guys) considered them good because they were just picked two days ago. Even I could tell that a good lot of them were spoiled beyond the edible. They also had no cover to their containers. I hate berries packaged that way as they not only are a trial to get home but they absorb store odors and can be contaminated by other peoples hands- be it germs or personal care products. Thankfully I found some good California ones that were packaged better for my needs. I also learned the California ones tend to be available for about eight or nine months out of the year.so its mostly the blueberries that I have to try and clean up on the next month or two. Thane was so patient as I wheeled from one berry display to the other and back again to the other to determine what ones I was going to take home. I like to support our local farmers but not when their product will just be dumped in my trash.

Thane was so good until a manager tried to walk over him. I really don't like people to walk over him because people can fall and where will they land? He got up and she stopped to apologize to him at which point he decided he should attempt to visit- ughhh That is the first time he has done that in ages, but he also has not worked a lot lately and she did not do the whole *ignore the working dog* routine so there's blame to go all the way around. smile

I sure was glad to get my sweatshirt off when we got back home and I know Thane was loving his wet towel wipe down. When I do the wipe down I wipe his entire body and spend extra time on his underside to cool him down some as well as to do a bit of a tick check. It's not as thorough as I would like, but under the circumstances of just getting home, it's better than not doing any. Then comes his swamp cooler. He does not like it going on as its got a tight neck, but he gets all waggy tail once the head is through because it feels good I am sure. If I find out the technology in it won't be ruined by cutting it, I may re-design the neck in it so it's easier to get on. A small is more designed for a Cocker Spaniel not a Border Collie so the neck circumference is not the best. Now that he has filled out more, I am seriously considering getting him a medium. Boy it's been wonderful to have it though- especially with the heat today and the reduction in cooling from having no trees out front.

I sat here all afternoon in my cooling vest and Thane in his swamp cooler. He spent the rest of the day either sleeping or playing with me- both of us were comfortable  so I guess that is really all that really matters huh?

My Silly Dog

I thought I should pull myself away from my mountain of housing re-cert paperwork and share something fun about Thane.

Thane has never been a dog with gusto confidence when it comes to getting his ball out of tight spots. Met was a lot this way and in time he developed major confidence in this so I had/ have no doubts with Thane. Thane's seems to be impacted by taking meds also. It does not seem to impact his work in public and when its necessary he will definitely retrieve things for me that are harder to get at, but there's always been this side to him and probably always will be to some extent.

There is one thing that I find absolutely silly, hilarious, create your own adjective for the scenario if you want after reading about it.

I live in an apartment set up (or at least in many ways set up) for a person in a wheelchair. They definitely thought that all people in wheelchairs have someone else cook and bake for them, but that's a whole other topic. Instead of a bath tub we have a large roll in shower. It sort of slopes to the drain so as to not flood the bathroom. As a result of this slope, Thane's ball always seems to find its way down to the drain.

I wash and hang my laundry in this shower so often times there are those *close confines* that Thane is not so comfortable with. By morning when I am removing the clothes from the line, there can be anywhere from one to five balls down at the drain level of the shower because someone would run get one from *toys* when he lost a ball rather than asking me to *encourage* him past the laundry, fan, and other paraphenalia.

Each morning after I have put the laundry away, Thane comes to retrieve the balls for me. Most dogs would walk down there, retrieve the ball in their mouth and bring it to you- right? Not Thane. From the very first time I had him go down into the shower to get a ball for us, I had to hold back my laughter. Thane is a very long dog, twenty-seven inches collar to base of tail. He walks down into the shower part way, stretches as far as possible, then nudges the ball to roll towards him. He does this all the way to the edge where the shower meets up with the bathroom linoleum flooring. At this point, he whips around and proudly produces the ball in my hand. It is so hilarious. Try as I might to train him to actually retrieve the ball at the drain position and walk back to me with his ball in his mouth- it just aint ever happening! This is the only toy he treats this way, the only place its treated this way and its just downright fun to experience.

You might ask why I find this fun, silly, hilarious- oh its because it is different than Met. It is different than any other dog I have ever read about. It is just a part of who he is and well- that makes it special in my book.

Keeping Busy

The weather has been beautiful here in the Pacific Northwest FINALLY! Though I'd love to say we have been kicking up the dust behind our wheels and paws, we've been keeping busy in other ways. Taking some time to catch up on tasks left by the wayside from busy life requirements.

I've actually caught up on laundry, had the opportunity to make a new brace that was desperately needed, even washing and repairing some of the gear we use that we don't have extras of. In my spare moments, I am busy learning everything I can about Lyme and in turn, educating others about the importance of testing.

We may not be out in the glorious weather every day in the way we have been most years, but I am for sure enjoying the beauty of the sun beating down, the dry weather that I am able to do most of my solo trips in and frankly actually enjoying taking the time to tick check, massage, and stroke Thane in ways that busy life just never allowed for in the past.

You know how it is. You get caught up in the busy chores and errands of your life and forget to take time to actually enjoy the moments you have together. Though this isn't exactly the kind of thing I would wish on anyone, sometimes it takes these kinds of events to force us to stand still and appreciate just what we have.

I enjoy the little memory building moments- Thane dancing about with his zogoflex frib- my funny clown

What a Difference a Week Has Made

I feel like a new person this week. I feel like last week was truly just a nightmare. Life is good and Thane is happily playing his ball and other toys to his typical Border Collie obsessiveness. It is good! I never thought I would ever dream for, wish for, such obsession and yet there I was doing just that.

Thane's improvements are wonderful! I am not kidding myself though- I know we are far from through this marathon. We will however celebrate the good and work through the hard times as they come.

One thing that I have learned through this experience is just how much easier Thane makes my public access life. The kinds of things he must negotiate with ease that I have not even the slightest awareness we encountered are basically revealing themselves to me now as I make my attempts for access in solo fashion.

Store workers for the most part are helpful as long as I am really clear what I need and why. New Seasons still remains the best in all of this though- particularly in the produce department where I tend to need the most assistance.

Today I headed out to use the bus stop closest to home. With Thane we take a long walk to a stop that is much easier to get to. I am really limited in my approaches though without Thane being with me- in my ease of navigation, in my physical limitations in using a guide cane and in the weakness and pain that I endure as a result. These aspects also limit how far I can actually ask myself to travel. Today I headed to the bus stop which requires navigating the sidewalk route in front of Safeway and the other stores in that shopping strip. Why is it that everyone but Safeway gets that the sidewalk area is not an extension of the store! Safeway has put up a barbecue pit from what I was told after I collided with it. Guide canes with wheelchairs aren't always as effective as they are for the ambulatory blind either. Thankfully it was my shopping basket that made contact and not my body. That was just the last of many new obstacles they had left in the way as I navigated around like I was amidst weave poles to try and find a safe route to where I was headed. Believe me I was glad to get beyond Safeway as it was getting on the disorienting side. I thought to myself and I have not even made it to the bus or route for travel from the max yet!

When I got off the Max which was the newer train design (I still prefer the old ones as does much of the population that rides max), I could not believe how much easier Thane makes it to handle those ramps that are quite steep. Trimet was power washing the station as well- great just what I needed! To do this requires two hoses for some reason. One you can get over in a wheelchair and another which is near the truck some distance from the station itself you can not navigate no matter what method you try. Thane would just take another path and then head us back the way we need after he cleared us of the obstacle but with my guide cane, finding an alternative route just was not that easy. I really began wondering just how many more surprises were waiting for me today.

Thankfully the rest of my travel and shopping went smoothly, but I barely made the max on the way back because, you got it, no one was there to help in the hose negotiations on the way back. I managed to find an alternate route, but it was not quite as safe IMO. They need to keep someone at the truck if they are going to do this nonsense during peak travel hours or better yet place a double ramp over their hose so that people can actually function when employees are not there to help us. I still think that it is really stupid to power wash a shelter when people need its use- shaking my head

Everything else went very smoothly from the max ride, to bus, to getting back home. Thane was so happy to see me. He's still trying to figure out why I won't take him, but accepts my decisions about whether or not he gets to go.

His walks go well when I have the ability to do them- when time, pain, energy and weather cooperate that is. We'll be trying a small in town errand in the next couple days and from there I will make decisions about what else I can ask of him.

One thing I have learned is that despite not wanting to fall into that rut of not realizing just how much Thane does, I have done just that. This has been quite an eye opening experience. I am relieved that he can and will be back soon because I sure do miss my other half of me.

Entering Better Tomorrows

We had a really hard spell here. I haven't wrote much more about how things were going with Thane and his Lyme treatment mostly because I was too busy trying to get help for him or working through the tough ordeal.

Thane reacted to the Doxycycline. As a result of his reaction, we wound up at a specialist to figure out where to go from there. Though I suspected the Doxy, there was the possibility that he was herxing (experiencing a reaction to spirochette die off)

Our area is not Lyme central for sure. Because of this, testing for Lyme is low and the understanding of the various ways to best treat an individual for it are not fully understood by one's regular general veterinary staff.  At first, when my vet referred us to a specialist, I have to admit I was furious about it. I felt how dare she give this to him and not understand how to help him when it went south. Thane was suffering and I could not imagine how we would ever make it to the specialist who was about an hours drive away.

We made it there and I am very grateful for the opportunity to have spoken with a vet who understands much more about Lyme and how it assaults the body- especially for an individual whose assault began over two years ago.

Not only did I learn that most of Thane's medical history has been a direct result of the tick bite he received, but that his diet (a source of much debate by some unfortunately) had absolutely nothing to do with his medical history. On one hand that is a relief, but on the other hand, try as I might, it is very difficult not to blame myself for what has transpired. Though I know this now, I also know he may never be the dog he was before that fateful tick bite.

I know it's not my fault that he got bit by a tick, but I think sometimes that with a friend who has suffered greatly from the disease, that I should have been more aware- more intune with what a tick felt like on the skin and at least of what the reaction on his skin afterwards was.

For the most part I stay out of those kinds of regrets. I can't fix yesterday. I can only hope that should we encounter another tick, that I will have learned something from this experience that will change how I will respond to future experiences.

The specialist was definitely the way to go for Thane. I learned that reactions to Doxycycline are not just experienced by the most sensitive but that the kind of reaction Thane was having is usually more pronounced in the herding breeds. On the plus side of the equation for us, is that because Thane was reacting to the Doxy, further tests were run which revealed that he needed to come off it (and its class of drug) irregardless of whether it was the reason for the changes in Thane.

After 24 hours off of Doxy, Thane was a changed dog. Though he was not completely back to what he was before Doxy or before he collapsed from the Lyme, he was definitely at least 80 percent there. He has been on a new medication now for three doses and so far it has not taken the direction of Doxy. I have to keep close tabs on how he responds for a while here, but things look very optimistic thus far.

This morning Thane played a lot with my folks and has been his silly self a lot today. He has eagerly returned to retrieves of his own choosing and came to my side when he saw I was getting ready to take the trash out. Though I chose to leave him inside, his desire to be there was just the gift I needed as I deal with pain from the guide cane, my progressive disabilities, and the awareness I have of just how much Thane was making these changes in me seem almost absent.

It has been a hard and scary time for me coupled with a time of enlightenment as well which really changed my outlook for him.

I don't know what the future holds, but for today, I am focusing on the fact that his ball is back in his mouth and his ears are dancing with the sounds he hears.

HI HO HI HO It's Off To Work We Go!

It was a fabulous day in the weather department today to me which means it was quite warm by Thane's standards. Thane ate all his meat at the 7AM Doxy time so it opened up a bit of opportunity for us today.  I was already working on his turf soak which had left a bit of a problem- Doxy means increased busy needs and it certainly would not wait until I was through! I had a small errand in town I wanted to run and figured we could handle two things with one stone- a busy at the street and the errand. I felt this would also be a great opportunity to test his endurance.

Right away I noticed Thane had a bit harder pull in harness, but figured it was just built up energy and blew it off. I barely uttered the words, do you need a busy and Thane was squatting except he missed the grass and it was a flood! Back home we went for some water to wash that down before heading on our errand.

We took the short walk to Bi-Mart to pick up the printer paper that I just realized I had to have and *like yesterday*. Usually I buy in advance for MCS detox needs, but I blew it here with just a few sheets left. Thane was pulling a bit firmer in harness than his recent work before the Lyme diagnosis and collapse, but he was working well so I let it slide. He worked awesome with Bi-Mart's dangerous parking lot and walked really well on their polished flooring today. He seemed pretty focused on what I was asking once more.

When we exited the store, he headed towards the pharmacy. It is safer to exit the parking lot that way usually as more of the cars park closer to the main exit and entry door. I had to use my *not now* command though as we approached the pharmacy window. As we worked on our exit from that side of the lot, this single truck kept blocking our path. That guy nearly creamed us once and after that he blocked the cross walk while he waited to get across the entire street so he could go the opposite direction- all the while making us wait because he was just *so not going to back up*. By that time, I don't think Thane trusted him any way; I know I didn't!

The walk home was firm pull for a while but we hit a snag where I could not get him out of a real hard pull. I'm unsure what the trigger was but it appeared from my perspective to be a sound reactivity thing. Sound reactivity is one of his neuro symptoms with his Lyme. I put his head halter (leader) on him to just make it easier for me as I am in a pain spell from over doing on the scanner this week.

I thought no more about the trigger as we continued on home. After one attempt by Thane to remove the leader, the rest of the walk was uneventful and actually had some really great work. His ice packs don't keep him very cool with his new harness design, so he was quite warm for a while after we got home even after his customary wipe down for his allergies. At one point, I was a bit concerned, but he finally seemed OK again so I thought nothing more of it.

I put my frozen smoothie ingredients into the blender to defrost and did more work with his turf. It was not until I was getting ready to make my smoothie that my big blunder became clear. When Thane ate all his breakfast this morning, I neglected to go back and give him his supplements that he gets after the Doxy is into his system. One of those is his Taurine. It can be taken with the Doxy, but since the Nupro can not, I do them together. Taurine really is beneficial for Thane in many ways, one of which is his pull in harness. It is also very helpful for the type of seizure his Lyme caused. As you can see, it was not a teeny blunder seeing as though by this time it was already after 2PM. Before Doxy, he would get that by 9AM at the latest unless we overslept.

The good news for the day though was that he had a real clear head when it counted and had the energy to walk the long way home. He wanted to walk the long way there, but I had him take the short route instead. I was all set to take him to New Seasons tomorrow but use a different stop so that the walk is shorter. I was also planning to use a second bus line to come home should it be warranted, however; the weather forecast was GREATLY changed on us from a day of maybe a small shower in the early morning to it being a rainy day GRRRRR

I would so love to bust this town tomorrow, but I am not chancing my power chair for even the shortest walk. The line we could use should thane not have the endurance for the max stop distance does not have a covered stop over by New Seasons so it looks like its Sunday with no backup approach to the route other than using the alternate max stop if its necessary.

Its hard to believe that a week and a day ago Thane collapsed and here, today he is re-bounding into my energizer bunny. He still takes more naps than normal, but I think some is out of boredom more than necessity. Any time I know each day may be different for him and to watch how he is really doing before we commit to something big, but all in all, he is headed in the right direction.

Thane Works

Thane was going nuts with boredom today. When Thane gets bored he licks. Its not an easy thing to stop once he gets into the obsessive compulsive action of it. For the most part, the target of his licking is him. For him to be doing this instead of sleeping meant that he was feeling better. Don't get me wrong we have a long ways to go until he is well. A sure sign of that is in the medication department. The meds upset his tummy this morning and he has antibiotic poop, but other than that- his energy is returning which is awesome.

I needed a couple of things up at our local Bi-Mart. After I changed into better clothes for the outing, I said you wanna go with me? Thane perked up with ears standinging as tall as they could. There was a bounce in his step as we headed to the door to harness up. I had made the decision that if he was not focused enough to trust his decision making, we would just walk down the street and back. I had my mini guide which gives me tactile feedback of obstacles as a support for the process.

Thane impressed me though. I did not have to tell him *slow* at all on the route there. He alerted me to the winding plant obstacles at the corner which I think someone should just take a chain saw to one of these days! The curb cut itself being an after thought with all those plant obstacles is an accident waiting to happen. Thane managed however to choose the safest approach to this nonsense. One thing about using the shortcut dirt path- we get to avoid all of that, but today we would have looked like we had just been in a mud-wrestling match.

Thane did precision work up the sidewalk-less street weaving in and out along all the parked cars before entering the curbcut on the main road. *Thane, Forward*  I said. I knew there was a stopped car but they have a stop and I have a crosswalk and they were obviously trying to go all the way across the main road. In other words, it was safe for us to go. Off Thane went like the only thing on his mind was to safely get us across the street. Midway however he alerted me and was prancing funny but not coming very far into my path. This is typically his response when we can't back up fast enough, but a driver is moving without looking. I did the only thing I could and yelled as loud as I could hoping they could hear me through the mask. This is the last thing either of us needed right now.

We continued to Bi-Mart but had someone in their lot think we needed to be part of the pavement too- what is it with drivers here in town today! I was feeling like maybe we should have stayed home!

We had more success shopping. Thane was responding to every command I uttered with a precision I had not seen in a while. He had minimal issues with the polished floors that he walks like he is on ice with unless I remind him to *stay on his feet*.

The trip home had no cars acting  like bumper cars and safe sidewalk to road transitions despite all that dangerous creeping plantlife.

Though Thane has been sleeping a lot since we got home, this venture out was good for both of us. I doubt bigger outings are a possibility this week, but just to have him at my side today and see that he could actually make it there and back gave me that security and belief that he will be back in better form than before when treatment concludes.

Reality Stings

We all hear how horrible Lyme Disease can be. My good friend Sharon at After Gadget blog has been living with it for years and I have watched, listened and wished I could take her suffering away. She was a mentor for me years ago when I was first hit with severe Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and she has become a mentor once more for me- walking me through the process of learning all I can to help Thane be all he can be.

When Thane was diagnosed, I remained pretty optimistic about it all. I had the attitude of *finally we know what's wrong* more than the attitude of how damaging a disease this can be. When the vet said he could still work as long as I listened to him, I assumed in error that as long as we took days off to live life at home, that Thane and I would continue to do at least the errands we loved to do as a team.

Today I got hit right between the eyes with how wrong I was. Reality quite frankly stinks. It rarely measures up with expectations. In this case I just felt empty. I had Thane in a situation where the only solution was to walk short distances and stop for breaks- breaks that Thane determined the length of time we took down time along the route back to the max stop. I did everything I could to minimize his walking distance- took a stop I loathe so that we just had to go up to the end of the transit center stop to connect with our bus and then took the stop in town that we could follow a shortcut path straight home.

I was glad to be home and above all sorry from the depths of my being that I had so badly misjudged Thane's abilities right now. All I thought about is that we had been home for several days rest which IMO meant we were good to go.

Now with reality setting in, I feel this sadness coming over me. Don't get me wrong, I still aim to be optimistic here- but reality just has a way of jerking you back from this fantasy of what it will be to what it truly is. Lyme Disease is not for the faint of heart. It ravages ones insides- affecting everything and anything in its tenacious journey.

I knew that we did not catch Thane's early. This bug has had over two years to bounce around inside of him causing one roller coaster ride after another along the way. He'll still jump up after a really long nap to play some ball, but there is less drive- less forceful obsession in the way he goes about it. One of the biggest things I noticed this week was how much he slept. Every time I turned around to do something, he was curled up again taking another nap. I'm trying to tell myself that this is good that he is listening to his own needs, but a part of me feels wounded by it as well. From the simplest of issues to fluctuating lameness to neuro involvement, Thane has been trying to tell us for over a year that something was wrong.

Some people seemed to feel that I was looking for medical diagnoses from the normal behaviors of my dog. It hurt to hear comments like that, but I was the one who had to assure that Thane was given what he needed. To those very people who felt that way, my feelings are this- had I stopped looking Thane's career and very life would have been shortened dramatically. I don't know what the future holds for Thane and I- whether or not there will be irreversible issues, weaknesses for life in certain realms or not. All I know is that right now, I just feel like I have been punched in the gut.

Our Crazy Saga of a Day

Our day of rest yesterday turned into me doing our post winter potty station cleanup in preparation for power washing of patios yesterday afternoon. I tried not to think about the consequences of it all while doing it, but boy I felt it last night and today! I was glad that was behind me, but like I said it was supposed to be a rest day.

Today we had to get to the bank and then back to the vet to sort out treatment for Thane's Lyme disease. I was grateful I woke up early enough that we could get out the door before the heat really hit for Thane. I knew doing both these errands could spell trouble for Thane's allergies and fatigue issues so other than his first morning walk routine to the bus, I wanted to keep extra walking to a minimum. Intentions were good- reality was not so much that way.

We boarded the bus to a driver who knows us well. I told her where I wanted her to be sure to let me off. Last week she missed our stop after assuring me she would get us there. Due to the one way street layout, inaccessible walk signal buttons, and non-ADA compliant bus stops in conjunction with ramp designed buses, we had to go to the max stop to get a safe enough place to de-board. It was nice and we have done that walk back to Winco before, but it was not essential- if you know what I mean.

Today I happened to get the same driver. I told her where we needed off and she assured me she would get us there. What do you know? She passed our stop again and then accused me of falling asleep! I wanted to bite her head off because today of all days we did not need this. Not only did she pass our stop, but there was no sidewalk for us to travel back on the roadway. She said it was wide and called the ramp a little steep. Her idea of a little steep leaves much to be desired! It was so steep that Thane had to grip the ramp tread to keep himself slow enough to safely guide me down. Once we got down, I was relieved to be in one piece. The next part got even hairier though. Her idea of wide shoulder and mine while working with a guide dog greatly differ. Thane did great but there was this problem- the cars turning right from the street we were headed for. These cars turn right into the path we were on. Thane must have done four or five traffic checks before some driver had the courtesy to wait for us to get up on the curb to cross the street. The next crossing we had to make the walk signal was completely unreachable so we had to go with the cars without a walk signal. Boy was I glad when we got to the bank in one piece!

Heading home, I had a different driver. He was really great though I don't recall him from any past bus rides. I judged the time well and reminded him about five minutes before we got to our stop, but he had remembered it any way. Sometimes one can judge the time like this, but when its busy and the bus loses time, its impossible for a  DB person to know how close you might be because the GPS street announcer (if you can even hear it at all) is so distorted, there is no way you can tell what it is saying.

The vet was swamped today. They had been all week evidently. She had tried to fax me something today and it failed because I was not expecting it, nor was I even home to get it. In the end, we used one of the other workers as a bit of a go between (between the vet and myself) to get things sorted out to start Thane's treatment process for Lyme.

One thing that was so funny was that I was sitting kind of in a corner today because there was not room for our typical setup when we got there. The gal who was helping us, thought I left Thane home. She was trying to find out when I was going to bring him and I did not understand what she was saying as some of those dogs were so noisy! It seemed like Thane was the only dog with training at all. Anyway things quieted down when she came back the next time to talk with me at which point when she asked that question again, I pointed down beside me saying, he's right here. She looked over the counter and was shocked at his quietude. We got the fresh weight they needed on him just to be precise for his prescription, then we got to head home.

We were going to shortcut it home, but irregardless of what route we took, we had to use the crosswalk with no walk signal. It has flashing lights for the cars to stop. This crosswalk is usually uneventful, but not so today! Boy, Thane must have gotten tired of traffic checking me today!

After washing Thane down for his allergies, he took a nice long nap while I dealt with setting up my fax and the subsequent issues in providing payment information to the compounding pharmacy.We played a bit afterwards and in short intervals here and there throughout the afternoon, but honestly I see how zapped he gets now and hope that his meds get here sooner than I anticipate them to.

My Life as a Deafblind Individual

This week, as it turns out, is Deafblind Awareness Week. This was news to me. I decided I would write my thoughts about what it means to me to be deafblind.

There are many variations of deafblindness. Some people are totally deaf and totally blind. That said, that form of deafblindness is rare. Many like myself who are deafblind have some sight and hearing remaining, but can't decipher what they are seeing or hearing or can't do so without much concentration.

I live a secluded deafblind life. I don't have friends IRL who are deafblind because of my MCS and where I live. There is not a large deaf or deafblind community here- so culturally I am like anyone of you. I just have to work hard to fit into a world that functions to high degrees on sight and hearing senses.

I miss the deaf community experiences I had in California. It never donned on me just how much I was leaving behind when I packed up Met and my belongings and headed off to Oregon where I've left that culture behind and have had to live like a hearing sighted person to fit in- especially into family. It hasn't been easy but I have adjusted.

So what's my life like anyway?

I am profoundly deaf. I can make out what some people say as long as they face me, have no accent or speech impediment, and there is no background noise. I can wear hearing aids for the essentials, but due to EMF sensitivity, the consequences of doing this can be high for me; thus I opt against wearing them for anything that I can get by with my guide dogs sense of sound for. Sometimes its great being deaf because I can tune out things that others find really annoying. Other times, sounds that I can hear, send me over my rocker if you know what I mean- like fireworks (but those I hear minimally at best now thankfully!) Progressive deafness has its moments of being a blessing and then moments when it feels like a curse. Most times, I like my quiet- perhaps because I have lived at this level for so many years of my life.

My eye disease is not common, but has the impact of a distorted jigsaw puzzle with most of the pieces missing. The pieces I do make out, I have no idea what they really are, how close to me they are, or how far to the right or left they may be. By all measures of functionality, what I do see, does me no good.Its been harder to adjust to my blindness then to my deafness- perhaps because my blindness came later and ended many enjoyable past times, took away my ability to see pictures, and almost took away every hobby I had since my MCS (but not quite)

I don't sit at home and twiddle my thumbs though. grin  Instead I live my life independently. I ride the fixed route bus and max trains, go to the store, to the bank, to the Drs, to the Veterinarians, to take leisure walks, to experience new routes in new locals. I am like anyone else except I just need to use a tactile mobility aid to judge traffic, braille compass to judge directions, and my guide dog to navigate the path we need to take- and yes, every once in a while save me from people who drive carelessly, or who interfere as we are walking down the sidewalk or trying to cross a street because they want to know all about my dog or tell me how they have one just like him at home.

This life I live certainly isn't the one I envisioned when I graduated from highschool, but its a good life. When I am not out in the community, I am home resting, training my dog, doing laundry, cleaning my home, making my meals, sewing new gear for my guide dog or clothes for myself, or best of all- playing with Thane. Playing ball is Thane's most favorite past time thing to do.

In my dreams I would be able to find an ASL teacher to help me learn tactile ASL so I could understand more easily what is being said at appointments, but with MCS that is not in the cards. Before MCS, before service dogs were in my life, before I was legally blind, I had taken two semesters of ASL. I was able to benefit from it in classes but with my visual impairment my comprehension level from a distance was minimal. As a result of this difficulty, I preferred the captioning method.

I don't know what the future holds for me with my progressive dual sensory losses- whatever it entails though, I am sure I will figure a way to continue to live my life in independent fashion- cuz afterall I hate waiting for people to do things for me. I am an independent deafblind gal who just loves to live my life without having to lean on others. I guess its just who I am. grin

Lyme Disease Strikes Thane

Thane was to be my healthy successor dog to Met- the dog who taught me about everything! We have gone through ups and downs since I got him with his health, but nothing substantially life changing like I dealt with in Met. None of the problems for Thane became too serious because of my knowledge from Met (thank you my angel boy) and the good vet we have on his case.

From a rabies vaccine reaction, to ear infections, to giardia, to fluctuating and changing symptomology of various body systems including a time where it seemed thyroid disease was a part of the plan for us (which it was not)- now the truth has come out to show its ugly self and frankly I don't think its too funny to wait until we finally have beautiful summer weather to do that!

Thane has tested positive for Lyme or actually for the bacterium that causes what we know to be Lyme disease. Before anyone says this happens to dogs who were vaccinated for Lyme disease, Thane NEVER was. Beyond that, I KNOW exactly when Thane was infected.

Though it has been a little over two years since he was infected, I am still hopeful that we have caught it early enough that treatment will be simple for us and not do any sort of damage to his gut issues with the long term need he will have to be on the meds.

I am nervous about this, but hopeful too.

I have to thank Sharon at AfterGadget blog for all her publicity on Lyme disease and the encouragement to pursue regular testing on a dog whose history of Lyme infection was thought to be negligible. Without her, I would NEVER know what was really wrong with my boy. I look forward to meeting the REAL Thane.

For those who think it still can't happen to them or their dog because of the stereotypical views held in the medical and veterinary communities, think again. Thane and I live in NW Oregon about as far from the NE as one could get and still be in the USA. If it can happen to us, it can happen to you!  

Tune in for further updates, as treatment is discussed, pursued, and life moves on as a team once more all thanks to a friend and her own journey on the NE coast.

Our Chaotic Life--- So What Else is New?!

Life's been very chaotic in our neck of the woods. From shopping for both of us, preparing and freezing extra berries for winter time, and dealing with Lowe's over my freezer arrival (lets just say I won't be shopping with them again), life has been anything but ordinary.

I continue to stick with my newfound way of life that's making me feel so much healthier than I ever felt on a meat based, junk food diet. It won't take my MCS away. What it does do however is make it easier for my body to eliminate toxicity from exposure because I am not also loading it down with toxicity form the food I eat. As nice side effects of this change, I have lost weight and no longer have any cravings in afternoon or evening.

These changes, have also led to my ability to do more with Thane. Be it working, playing, or training. Its just that when I feel better, I can do more because I have the patience and/ or stamina to pull it off. Don't get me wrong, I still have to structure my life so I don't overdo or over-expose myself, but I guess what I am trying to say is that when we are working, playing, or training I feel more enjoyment in it.

Thane and I are regulars now at New Seasons where I go for my organic diet needs as well as for some of his diet. The route we take there each week, takes us back to the spot where Thane's traffic checking skill was more than appreciated- back to the spot where an idiot nearly ran us down and then sped off as though he had not a care in the world. I was sure I would be apprehensive going back there. I even contemplated other routes we could take, but the sidewalk on the other side of the street is in such disrepair until we get much closer to the store.

I went with it and Thane did too. He showed no apprehension but was more intently focused as though that experience had changed him. I try and get something special there for his diet each time we go that he really enjoys- sorta my way of saying thank you for keeping me safe. Since he has allergies that extend to foods and is a giardia survivor, this is my way of treating him without disrupting his balance. Smile

Today's plans got thwarted thanks to my MCS, the neighbor across the way who started burning before we even got up, and the weather. After being home yesterday to deal with the freezer arrival, I really wanted to be on the go today. Sometimes in life, its a good thing to be able to adapt to the situation at hand. The trip I had planned was not urgent, but Thane sure could have used the work.

Instead we have played, trained some, took pictures of training, and I have spent time placing orders I forgot to make and only realized after printing a blank sheet of paper- a big whoops on the cartridge end of my order needs!

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better weather day for working Thane and getting the errands completed that have been put on the back burner for the last two days. I'm looking forward to being able to buy things without worrying if it will fit in my itsy refrigerators freezer. If the weather is nice enough, Thane will get to wear his blue harness that I just finished the American style loops for. He looks so cool in this powder blue color.

I sure wish summer would come and really stay! Two jipped summers in a row is not cool!

A Fabulous Day: Work and Weather

Today was great. I felt good from the moment I climbed out of bed. This is a rarity in my world.It was a day to take advantage of. It was cloudy with promise of clearing. The clearing came early as a change from the normal pattern here- leaving behind a glorious day!

Thane got pretty jazzed when he realized we were going to town. A Border Collie just needs to work- especially one with as much drive as Thane has. I was over-dressed per my norm (its hard to get out of the winter layering routine). We took the long walk to the bus. I only had to talk to Thane once about his speed and harness pull. Days like this I cherish. The walk from the max to the store was beautiful and peaceful. I love that walk following the windy sidewalk path amidst the trees and rolling hills of the Intel campus.

I knew just around the bend though was the spot which will forever remind me about the fragility of life.  It will remind me of how awesome Thane was when I needed it. Today though, those were not the thoughts rolling through my head. Today I was thinking about how wonderful a cadence Thane had as we strolled over the hilly sidewalk pathways together. I was thinking about how special things like this are because they are things shared only between Thane and myself; something his predecessor could never have done with his lameness. I was thinking about the good memories I was forming when all of a sudden Thane blocked me.

No worries, just a person who had the belief that a wheelchair could stop on a dime while he blocked our access. Its situations like this though that make me realize just how wonderful it is to have Thane at my side. With a cane, I would never have the luxury of any thoughts beyond the actual navigation of the course I needed to follow. Travelling by cane is stressful, ineffective, and certainly not a mode of travel I ever enjoyed- not with Met and certainly not in the interim between Met and Thane or thereafter.

I returned to my thoughts of Thane and what we have accomplished together for a short duration until Thane let me know we had arrived. Once inside my thoughts went to the items I needed to purchase. I decided to take a new approach with Thane in the store. Thane has pretty much memorized the aisles and locations in aisles where I pick things up. This can be awesome in allowing me to shop a bit more independently, but it also has its drawbacks when I only want a few things or want to skip some aisles entirely. Thane still wants me to go to those spots! ARG!

Today I decided to tell Thane exactly what I wanted next. I often tell him the product names but only after I collect them. What help is it to know where one is headed AFTER the fact? giggle Before I began to use the approach however, Thane had me headed to the granola. It was OK as I needed it. I noticed he was not walking on nails as I talked to him. This was interesting. I have noticed when I forget the Taurine he does this more so, but its also a behavior that the Ophthalmologist equates with retinal changes so its something I've pondered a bit lately since Taurine is also known to provide retinal support.

Placing the granola in the basket, I told Thane, I need beans next. He headed to the end of the aisle, paused for a few people walking by with carts before heading down to the bean aisle with no further direction from me. BOY was this a good idea or what? A staff member was there working on shelving and placing sales notifications on the shelves. He told me my beans were on sale! This was a really grand sale. I was planning to get some but when I heard about this sale- lets just say we cleaned up.

From there we continued on- buffalo for Thane, milk, produce- potatoes to try instead of pasta, my berries were on sale and just came in so were very fresh. It was awesome. This whole walk through the store to gather our food needs and not one comment was needed to *Stay on your feet* which is my signal for Thane to get off his nails and walk normally. The hardest spots are usually the main front aisle and checkouts where floors are often buffed and more slippery but still even in this area, Thane stayed on his feet wonderfully! I was really feeling those excitement goosebumps.

Though it took a while to figure out how exactly I was going to get all this food home, I managed to get organized while Thane patiently waited for me to finish up.

I prefer the back, non-electric door to the front electric doors at this store. The front entrance area is so cluttered with carts, plants, prepared food sales on some days, outside eating tables- well you can only imagine how hard it would be in a power wheelchair with a guide dog trying to navigate there.

We have a system down- we pay for our food and then navigate back into the store to the back door where we can exit without lots of obstacles for a water break in quiet. This is a spot that I can even remove my mask if I am quick about it for my own drink of water and drying of the mask. It makes the trip back to the max-heading for home so much easier as well as keeping Thane off too much grass which is one of his prime seasonal allergens.

There are some curb cuts that have been grated with cross hatches in a weird way. For some reason they are not hard for Thane on the up curb direction, but we have struggled with these curbs from the get-go. Some of these cross hatches are actually on the high curb edge though as opposed to the curb cut. There've been a couple tricky landings as a result. I began working with these through some great insights from my good friend Rox'E at The Doghouse Let the Fur Fly blog. Today, Thane did fantastic! In his approach to get me into the curbcut itself though, he had to follow it up split second by traffic checking me because well--- some people don't know the meaning of a STOP sign. Its not a roll through sign- really it is not! snicker

Though we had been there with plenty of time to spare, the first max collected its ambulatory passengers and took off without us. There is no way he can claim he did not see us. This is not the first time and Thane was hot. I was not happy. Someone pointed out that there was a Trimet utility truck across the tracks so we went and had a talk with him. He tried to call the supervisor but could not get him on the line. I called as soon as I was rested when we came home. Since it only happens at that one stop and only with the new trains, I felt it was time to pull on Trimet's ear a bit to figure out WHY this keeps happening.

The next max went much better thankfully since I was carrying milk and meat (in a cool bag with ice packs but its an hours trip usually extended by the missed train). I prefer a different stop for the bus where only our bus comes to that stop. It is less toxic since fewer people use it, but it also makes it easier for Thane- not having to pop up and alert for every bus. Today though was just too hot for Thane without a way to do icepacks yet. We took the transit center stop and played the pop up, pop down game until the bus that came was ours.

The only part of our day, that was not really great work came when we got off the bus. No matter what I did, I could not get Thane into a slow stance. I tried all the arsenols I have in my bag of tricks except his head halter. I could not believe we did so great all day and the last 150 yards had to be done in a head halter, but thems the breaks. I don't know what the reason was, but once in the head halter, he worked like a champ again. I know there are two parts to this team and the problem may not have just been Thane. Sometimes you just have to manage until you can figure out the *whys*.

I look at this day as a victory day in so many ways that I'm not going to let the last 150 yards be a downer for us. This was a fabulous day that I want to keep alive in my mind.

I am beat, he is beat- but summer is here! Isn't it WONDERFUL!

Hard Traffic Check

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in the Pacific Northwest. In my town the temperature got to 77 degrees! It was positively gorgeous- a wonderful day for a pleasurable outing.

Thane and I got started a bit later than I had planned to. Having had to stop the Pet GO for medical reasons, Thane was working alright with a few reminders. We caught the bus to the max and hit the nature trail. It was beautiful. We truly enjoyed ourselves there. We made a quick stop at New Seasons along the route home where we encountered one of those people behind the wheel that make every guide dog handler grateful for the training their guide has. We came about as close to roadkill as we ever have in our training and partnership.

Thane did the most awesome traffic check! True to his training he assured that I was able to stop and he was able to block me without  getting run over. To accomplish this however required some significant torque with the handle and harness. I could care less that it popped a joint in the handle as I always carry a spare one. The sadness to me is the result to Thane's skin while he was so busy saving my hiney from *Mr Hell on Wheels, laws don't apply today because the sun came out* Where are the cops when you need them.

I was rattled a bit. Thane's work was different too. I did not realize until we were waiting for the max that Thane's skin had been impacted by that incident. We took the transit center stop so he did not have to guide me that far for the bus. From there I leash guided on and used my cane to get off the bus. He guided me home alright but we used the shortcut path.

He will be in a different harness for a while giving his skin a chance to heal. There's a time for goofing off and a time for being serious. Behind the wheel is definitely not when its time to goof off. Thane is paying for someones error in judgment.

It could have been worse though- one of us could have been injured by the car or killed. I'm grateful for Thane's quick action.

Today we stay home allowing his skin and my nerves some well needed rest.

Who Is This Dog?

Thane has been transformed! The easiest way to describe it from what I can now see in hindsite is that he was wound tight as a top before. I imagine many Border Collies are that way, but without seeing him calm in this transformation, I could not see that this was the problem plaguing us as a team- plaguing the partnership and even recently making me wonder if retirement might not be a bad thing.

The change- this calming of my lil' redhead came about over a period of three days. You see, recently, after much research on a recommended supplement, I purchased the Pet-Go multi-glandular by My Pets Friend for an addition to Thane's diet. I read a lot of great stuff on this particular manufacturer's glandulars including how it can make a prey model diet more rounded by adding the glands that one would ordinarily have available in the eating of prey in the wild. For those whose immune-systems are over-active these can be an awesome answer to relief. Here's a great piece Glandular Supplements and Glandular Therapy Though I purchased Thane's elsewhere, that short piece gave me awesome answers- especially to the quick fix to his recent histamine reaction from a supplement the eye vet prescribed.

When I received the purchase, drop-shipped from the manufacturer as they all seem to do, it was so heinously toxic to my MCS that I had to glove up, put on my gas mask, go outside and dump the contents of the supplement into a small canning jar at which point I immediately disposed of everything in the dumpster and recycling! It was horrible, but I figured I would let him have them this time and just not order again.

Of course after such a magnificent transformation, my thoughts have greatly changed about it. Now instead of not buying it again, my viewpoint is to buy it in bulk and get it during the drier weather so that I can handle all the *hassles* of re-packaging more easily thus enabling Thane to continue receiving this wonderful addition to his diet. Afterall, how could I turn my back on something that gave him so much that he was able to work so calmly, even paced for my actual needs, focused on the task at hand rather than trying to race through life like a freight train? How could I turn my back on how he walked with ease on the slippery tile floor instead of looking like he was trying to walk on ice wearing boots? How could I turn my back on a new-found patience as I rumbled around the produce department feeling all these new found pleasures before making up my mind which ones I'd like to bring home with us- all the while Thane just taking it in stride. The answer to all of this is that I can not turn my back on it- not on any of it because by giving Thane what he needs, he is much better able now to give me what I need. It only took me- ohhh 3 1/2 years to realize it. So I'm a little slow on the uptake eh? Thankfully I'm working and living with a very forgivable redhead.

Saving Lives or Harming Them for the Long-Haul

After my first partnership was limited at best by severe vaccinosis, I don't hesitate to speak my mind with people- especially those who are completely oblivious and believe that vets would not administer vaccines if they were not safe. My partnership with Met and even the early part of my partnership with Thane prove otherwise.

I've read countless articles, books, and anything I could get my hands on over the years as I worked on changing my own mindset about vaccines. That is that they do far more harm than good for both people and our animals. I honestly would rather lose my dog from one of the diseases that we are indoctrinated to vaccinate against rather than to have them go through a decade of torture before the vaccines finally make it impossible to rally back.

Today on a vaccine list, I read a link that had been shared for an amazing article, The Purdue Vaccination Studies and Auto-Antibodies by Catherine O'Driscoll author of  the books, What Vets Don't Tell You About Vaccines and Shock to the System (both superb books and for my print disabled followers both are available on bookshare). If everyone could take this data to heart, shout it from the rooftops, stand up to vets who continue to do booster vaccines- or better yet to those who want to vaccinate their healthy puppy in the first place, life for our dogs could be so different.

My gut feeling is that after reading this article, if you aren't ready to do away with vaccines (and change your current vet if need be), then to me it feels like you are saying *First Do Harm* instead of *First Do No Harm*. I learned the hard way just how harmful vaccines can be when I watched my beautiful service dog fade away after booster vaccinations. I can't go through that again- nor will I. The lesson plan took- I learned exactly what I needed to through Chimette's journey. I hope you don't ever have to walk a journey like that.

When is Getting a Toy a Helpful Task Rather Than Play?

The rain has returned to the Pacific Northwest and with it our mobility is as well. I'm taking this time to catch up on sleep, chores, playing, and training with Thane. 

I wash my laundry in a small electric wonder washer because with my MCS I can not tolerate public washing facilities. I used to have a spin dryer but the quality of it was less than anticipated. It died recently so I now must wring my clothes by hand and hang dry them with a fan and de-humidifier in the bathroom.

During the course of the day, a number of Thane's toys will wind up in the shower where I hang my laundry. I have shower rods across the shower for hanging the laundry so we can't easily collect them when they roll their way downhill to the drain. The next morning, as I pull the dry clothes off the rods, Thane's task is to go get each of the toys and bring them back to me.

He is so funny with this. He walks down and then stretches himself forward instead of walking all the way to where the item is. Then he rolls it back bit by bit until he is on the more level surface before grasping it, turning around and standing beside me so I can take it from him. Then the task, or game as he considers it, continues until all of the toys are out of the shower.

Usually this is maybe one or two toys, but this morning he had six balls down there- Don't ask me how so many wound up in the shower- perhaps he got bored and wanted to have a lot to do this morning! LOL

So you see, sometimes getting a ball is not really about play, but about helping ones handler when they can't do the task for themselves.

Seeing Life Through Thane's Eyes

My life outside my home is experienced through the eyes and ears of my guide Thane, just as it was through Chimette, his predecessor. Sometimes our outings are simple errands, grocery shopping or the like- the mundane responsibilities anyone is accustomed to performing. For us, even these excursions are far from mundane. Nothing is ever the same twice especially for a team consisting of a wheelchair user and a Border Collie guide.  

As a wheelchair guide team, we not only require more space to work, but more often than not people treat me as sighted despite being told I am blind or seeing the harness sign on Thane's guide handle stating he is a working guide dog. Thane has quite the job to keep me safe as a result of this. People have come to recognize individuals in wheelchairs are partnered with service dogs, so when one is partnered with a guide dog, they just can't wrap their heads around it all. This stereotypical view can often lead to more intense obstacle clearance work in Thane's job due to another misconception people have- that wheelchairs can stop instantaneously. There's nothing instantaneous about a wheelchairs stopping ability.

Most of the routes we take I could do in my sleep, but I'd certainly not try that in real life! With Thane at the helm, my lack of peripheral vision is no problem at all. He knows when a driver is too impatient to wait for us- blocking my path so I don't become a casualty of them getting up too late. The world to most is in a 3-D view, for me its as flat as a picture in a coloring book- devoid of depth. With the spotty vision I have, I can't tell you if what I am seeing is one inch in front of me or three feet ahead, let alone what the item I am seeing actually is. With a visual disease on a progressive path that has the appearance of a puzzle with mostly missing pieces, I'm very grateful to have a dog with Thane's skills as I head out the door each day.

It was not always easy with him. Issues of transplanting from the country to a small town but with obligations in larger cities played its toll. Several times we had to take a step back. In weaker moments, I wondered if either of us were meant to create this partnership. When the fog lifted though, I saw a sidekick at the helm that was every bit as capable as Met had been and then some. His ability to safely guide me through life left Met's pawprints in the dust long ago. Its really great to experience life through my Border Collies eyes.

You might be asking yourself what it's like to see through a guide's eyes. Imagine being on an agility course all day long consisting mostly of weave poles that angle this way and that combined with abrupt pauses with no previous knowledge of the course layout as it is forever changing. That's what Thane's job entails. For Thane, he sees the changes taking place, for me it can be disorienting in the best of times. 

Every person who stops abruptly or cuts us off so closely that its a wonder they don't get run over, every garbage can dumped across the sidewalk by the collectors, every yard maintenance crew that opts to place their yard debris on the sidewalk of all places, every child's toy not properly put away, every congregating group of people awaiting a bus or ride that seem to think we can squeeze through in half the space we actually need, every cart abandoned across the sidewalk or left in the middle of a store aisle, every person that stops right past the doorway leaving Thane to block me so we do not get caught by the electric doors- all of these and more create obstacles in our life. You may say, well all of those are obstacles for me as well. Can you imagine then the task for Thane and myself working as a team to navigate life where so many are lets put it frankly, thoughtless in how their actions can affect others. Without Thane its a constant game of bumper cars for sure! 

Sometimes, Thane is able to move so gracefully this way and that around the obstacles that lay before us that it truly feels like we are dancing through life. These are the memorial moments of life and our partnership- the breeze brushing through our hair on a beautiful spring day- feeling stress free and a sense of perfection in the cadence we move with each other. This for sure, takes time, bonding, and working past the *green* phase of a new partnership- but just as it happened in my partnership with Met, so has it with Thane. There were times when I doubted I would ever get this with Thane. There were times when I forgot just how tumultuous the early partnership with Met had been. It actually took friends to remind me that there were rough patches before the seasoned days of working as though our minds were interconnected. But now I am able to see life once more through the eyes of my guide and I don't want this dance to ever end.

When the Gear You Need Doesn't Exist

I thought I would continue along the thought pattern of *Decisions* and talk about my decision to make my own gear.

Most manufacturers (and that includes those who make equipment for service dogs) focus on the typical breed builds of more robust chests, typical height dogs which I had, but shorter length dogs, and the list could go on. The first time working with a Border Collie, I tried from time to time to buy gear that was available, but the end result was always the same- it would fit in one area, but not another; it would rotate as we worked causing inconsistencies in the guidance from Met, but also led to red skin or sores and frankly I found it so infuriating to spend good money on gear that they assured would fit him only to have to pad it, add straps to it, put the coat on under the harness because it was so full chested it would fall off, or to be fed up and toss it aside for another solution.

I love to sew. I figured if I could not find what I needed on the market, why not just make it myself. At first I tried my hand at more precise modifications of existing gear but realized that still held me within certain constraints, though this brought about a nice training harness. I began to purchase the supplies I needed to experiment with. One of the first harness and pack setups I made for Met, worked absolutely like a dream! It never rotated and gave us the ability to work well as a team in the earlier stages of my eye disease. As my eye disease progressed however, changes were needed in his gear. I never really settled on a good solution again- not like what we had for those few years anyway. Though, one of the last harnesses we worked with was purchased for our use, it too required padding and other modifications. I dreamed of using my creativity to design once more the equipment we needed for both my needs and his structure. Unfortunately time ran out for Met, but not my desire to make custom equipment for my agile built Border Collies.

Fast forward to the entrance of Thane. He was a 9 month old full of energy and strong will when he came into my life. Needing to focus more on him and his training than sewing, I opted against sewing for him initially. I bought several harnesses trying to find one that would fit. The no-pull harnesses had a big issue, if it fit his girth, it did not fit his chest depth (not by a longshot) Though I found a harness we could live with for the short term while he was still filling out, it still had drawbacks that made it really clear to me that designing my own gear was not only going to be an enjoyable part of this partnership, but also very much a necessity. Through trial and error over a couple of years, I finally had a good British style guide harness for Thane and I to work with. What I really needed however, with the continued deterioration of my vision, was a good American style harness where the handle could pass through loops that limit its movement some to allow clearer guiding from Thane. Its taken a lot of experimentation, but I finally managed to design the perfect harness we need in order to continue working effectively. Of course, a re-design of his raincoat was also required after pulling this off.

When I look back at all the gear, training equipment, disability equipment and the like that I have made over the past decade in training and working with my Border Collie boys, all I can say is boy I am glad I have the desire, the ability and the creativity to pull this off. It's sad to me that manufacturers are so narrow-minded in their development of gear for working dogs that dogs like Met and Thane would be left to work in ineffectual gear had it not been for my ability to intervene.

Why I Chose a Border Collie for My Guide Dog

Recently there was an Assistance Dog blog Carnival. I thought I would write on the Decisions topic to start off my blog.

~ ~ ~

As a deafblind incomplete quad my view of the world is obscured by reduced sensory input. I'm one of the lucky ones though. The things many might just dream of, I get to experience through the eyes of Thane. Thane, a red and white Border Collie, is my guide dog. 

If you know anything about Border Collies, you're probably thinking the same thing the rest of the world does- a hearing dog perhaps- but a guide dog, isn't that going against their very instincts?

Besides the fact that Thane is in-training to also become my hearing dog, breed instincts can be very beneficial to me in a guide. As a herder, Thane is much more apt to glance one way or the other when people are around, or there are events out of the ordinary. It's not to a level of distraction that would wash a dog out for my needs, but it gives me insights into the world around me that a cane and tactile mini guide could never provide. It makes the world crisp instead of like that of a flat object. This glancing to and fro, is part of a herding dogs make up and most especially noticeable in a dog like Thane who comes from strong herding lineage. 

An additional great asset I have come accustomed to in my Border Collie guides is the ability to backtrack so easily. I have never had to train this, but the advantage with my disabilities is just awesome!  I frequently get disoriented. It can come on due to MCS, vertigo or simply a loss of proprioception. With Thane at my side, I never have to worry about the outcome. He will never fail to stand by me in this manner, by simply finding our way back. Sometimes this means finding the way home by travelling safely along a known route without the direction cues most guides are accustomed to receiving. Sometimes it occurs in a store or mall requiring Thane to find the exit and not just any exit either. Sometimes just getting me to the max or bus stop is all thats needed. 

Though other breeds can learn to do what Thane does for me, I have the most confidence in his breed to give me the hearing and guide dog skills I require to flourish as an independent spirited person.

Of course, it helps that I love the breed! I have ever since we had a BC mix when I was a child. To me, there was never any question what breed of dog I would train when I took on the task of owner training. They take a lot more accuracy in training (or living with the consequences), they learn at lightening speed (so be careful when you click), they can have a stubborn streak (now how can that be an asset? really it can!), they bond intently with their person, but need an experienced trainer who understands the mind of a Border Collie. I'm getting to be the latter thanks to my two Border Collie boys: Met, Thane's predecessor and Thane have taught me all about the Do's and Don'ts in training and working this breed. 

And every time I begin to contemplate another breed for a successor, I find myself coming back to my love for working this breed- no matter how difficult the process has been to get where I have. There is just nothing like a Border Collie!